Why you Should NEVER give Vice Kittens
by Felcia and Squiggles
Summary: When a small kitty ends up on Vice's windowsill, he starts to question his credibility as an Evil Doji. Continuation of Why You Shoul NEVER give Ultimo Sugar. Rated T for slight language and Desiru being himself.


Hey guys, Squiggles here!

This is a continuation off of Why You should Never Give Ultimo Sugar, which got way more popular than we expected! We're going to make one of these for each of the doji, including Millieu. If anyone has suggestions for titles, we would love to hear them!

I do not own Karakuridouji Ultimo. If I did, there would be much more RuneXYamato and Sopia would appear much more often.

Sparrow Place was unusually chaotic today.

Rage and Desiru had finally settled their differences over music. Jealousy, extremely annoyed, had gone to each of their rooms and smashed their music players. Normally, Vice would be quite happy that it was over. But Desiru had gone whining to borrow his iPod speakers. When he said no, Desiru kicked K's music stand over and destroyed all of his good CDs. This caused an enormous argument between K and Miyoshi that ended in Desiru's "going out" privileges being taken away. The pink doji threatened to abandon Miyoshi but, as per the usual, never did act upon that threat.

Meanwhile, Rage had gone after Jealousy. Once Rune showed up after school, it was evident that this would only end badly so Rage finally backed off. He left to go vent to Paresse, who in turn told Vice. Vice just punched the otherwise lazy doji and locked the door to his room.

So here he was, lying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling. At least Ultimo wasn't coming after him with whipped cream again, right? The more Vice thought of it, the more he realised Edile wouldn't have minded. Or Desiru. Now _there_ was a thought. Vice grinned at the thought of Desiru and Ultimo being all lovey-dovey. Please. Everyone _knew_ Desiru had a new girlfriend every week. He just wasn't a fluffy, romantic guy. Now why the _hell_ was he thinking of that? Vice sat up. He realized he needed to get out more often. Waaaaayyyyyyy more often.

Then he heard a weird noise from outside his window. He looked outside to see a kitten of the windowsill.

How exactly that kitten got there, Vice couldn't guess. But something inside him told him to go grab it out from there. He looked at it again. It was terrified, shaking. Looking at him with giant fearful eyes…

He ripped the window open, grabbed the kitten and slammed the window back shut.

…

"Musashi-sama!"

Musashi turned around to see Sopia dashing towards him, tears brimming in his eyes.

"What's the matter, Sopia?"

The catlike doji sniffed and hugged his master tightly. "I can't find Athena anywhere! She's gone!"

"Your pet kitten?"

"Yes! Musashi-sama, she's gone!" Sopia wailed in sorrow.

Musashi smiled gently. "Don't worry, Sopia. Let's go find her." He took Sopia's hand and they set out to find the feline.

…..

"You're a weird cat," Vice muttered as the fluffball fiddled with the edges of his hakama. He took off one of his gauntlets and reached towards the kitten. It sniffed his hand and snuggled into it.

It was a really small kitten, maybe six months old. It was orange, with little black stripes on it like a tiger. It looked up at him with big, loving eyes. Something about that face made Vice's heart melt. It was a weird feeling he'd never felt before. But somehow, he liked it. He scratched behind the cat's ears and it started mewing happily.

"Vice?"

Vice's heart stopped for a second. There was a knock on the door.

"Vice? What are you doing in there?" It was Desiru.

"Nothing, carrot face!" He shouted back. "What's it to you?"

"I heard meowing." Then he heard Desiru's voice take on a new tone. "You're hiding something~ What is it~?"

"It's a frilly maid outfit. Go away."

"REALLY?" Vice did _not_ think he'd actually take that seriously. "Can I use it?"

"No, cause I was lying. It's…a cat."

Desiru laughed. "Awwwww, Vice's going all softy on a wittle bitty kitty~ I promise I won't tell."

"DON'T YOU DARE."

"So you _do_ have a heart…..Can I see it?"

Vice hesitated. Eventually he gave up and opened the door. There was something in Desiru's face when he saw the kitten. Recognition? Happiness? ..._Love?_

"It's Ath-a-adorable!" He tickled the kitten's neck. It rested its head on his hand, like an old friend. So he _did_ know this kitten! "Where did you find her?"

"_Her_? How do you know what it is?"

"Vice, I'm the embodiment of Lust. You don't think I'd _know_ these things?"

"True enough. She was at my windowsill."

"I know who she belongs to."

Vice did a double-take. "You DO?"

Desiru laughed. "An acquaintance of mine. And knowing him, he'll be here very soon."

Suddenly the window came crashing open. Vice turned around to see Sopia, who was definitely the last person he expected to come crashing through his window. His eyes were burning with the most terrifying look he'd ever seen.

"DESIRU." The usually childish doji bellowed. "WHERE THE HELL IS ATHENA?"

Desiru, frightened out of his mind, grabbed the tiger-striped kitten from Vice and held it out in front of him. Sopia squealed with joy and snatched the kitten from his hands. "Thank you~" He kissed Desiru on the cheek and flew off.

Vice's face went from shock to sadness to utter confusion. "What was that all about? And did he just _kiss_ you?"

Desiru started walking away. "Ah, sweet memories~"


End file.
